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Of course, doing the beast with two backs on the very first outing can be tremendously thrilling and jolly good fun but it can leave you feeling a little high and dry, especially when you really fancy the person. Should I or shouldn't I?? Steve

ANYA: Hmm. I don't really go on dates. I'm more of a pounce-immediately gal, if I meet someone shagworthy. Whether or not to actually go out with them after that is far more of an issue. Just cos you want to have sex with someone doesn't mean you've got enough in common for a conversation over dinner.

DISCO: Try before you buy! There's not much worse than a dud root so it is best to sort out the wheat from the chaff before you invest too much energy and emotion into a guy. In fact initiate the sex! See if he can handle an UBERMOLE!

GINA: People date these days? What am I missing out on? If you both go into the 'bedroom/ back seat/ park bench' with an understanding of what you want out the experience, whether it be a five minute fling, or the beginning of something, there is no right or wrong time. So go for the *grope* just don't forget to slip into ye olde condome - the choice of all clean living ubermales.

UBERMALE: It is not recommended that you make love with beasts of any kind while on a first date. One with two backs is, of course, an interesting novelty and, if all goes well with your potential new love, sexual experimentation is a logical extension of a good relationship and a wonderful, natural way of allowing your love to strengthen and grow. But a prospective lover is not going to be very impressed if, in the middle of the first romantic, candlelit dinner, you drop your trousers and "do" a bristling, sweat soaked, red-eyed, squealing and drooling beast. And I speak from experience.

FRANCOISE: Sorry Ubermale, but the beastlier the better. Rrrrrrrrrr!


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