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I have been reading your site for some time and have finally developed the courage to ask the question I'm scared of hearing the answer to:

An an arty farty intellectual party boy who rides a motorcycle and whose love life is determined somewhat by a Wuthering Heights fetish, I feel that I have met all the interesting and intelligent women in the city in which I live. Should I abandon home and set my sights on the distant larger city I recently visited recently and see how many Cathies I can find? How much of my otherwise comfortabe life should I sacrifice for love and / or lust? Yours in anticipation, Speedfreak

ANYA: You want to move to a larger city in search of Cathies? I think they tend more to populate the Wild and Windy Moors. I also suspect that there are at least a few interesting and intelligent women you haven't met yet in your current city of abode, although with your attitude that they're such rare creatures, perhaps they avoid you! If it's just an excuse to relocate that you're lookin' for, then go for it -call the Removalists this minute. But if you seriously think that you're more likely to find your soulmate by looking further afield, at least move overseas. At least then you'll have the lure of an exotic accent on your side :^)

FRANCOISE: Heathcliff, it's me, Cathy come home I'm so cold, let me in-a-your window...

Okay, Speedy, I'm not sure what size city you live in, but I'm sure you haven't met every Cathy there. Impossible!

Being arty-farty I assume you have gone to all the openings at all the galleries, are associated with various galleries as a member and so-on, so you can volunteer and meet people? I am arty-farty too, and I have met a whole new social group this way who like the same things I do: art, poetry, alternative music & films. At the gallery where I am a member, we hold poetry readings, film screenings, and dance classes (all of which I attend...)

But, if you have tried that route and failed then perhaps adventure in a new locale is what you seek. Perhaps it is the boredom of familiarity that has gotten you down. What you need to decide is why you really want to leave, what the pros and what the cons are. I have always found taking off to a new place exiting and scary (and have relocated many times) and it may offer you new opportunities. But, then again you may just find the same old problems in a bigger, less familiar, more lonely place.

I guess what I'm trying to say is exhaust all your options first, weigh them carefully, and make the choice you have to make in your heart. Good luck..

UBERMALE: While my knowledge of Wuthering Heights begins and ends with the Kate Bush song, I know for a fact that yer modern chick wants nothing to do with musty old novels for which the best adjective is "windswept". Before setting your sights on the easy pickings of the big city, try this simple tip for happiness in the smaller towns: expand your fetish (this not only applies to books, of course: it works equally well with clothes, food, plastic extrusion, garden tools or any area of interest). Personally, I have made many lifelong friends and scored more than my share of tawdry conquests at local council meetings by sharing a love of "The Atrocity Exhibition". A little "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas" will hold you in good standing at many bingo nights and a working knowledge of "A Child's Garden of Degradation" (available as soon as I can find a publisher not blinkered with outmoded 20th century morals) will ease you into the silken embrace of many a matronly Dog Grooming student at local night schools. .

Out on the wiley, windy moors
We'd roll and fall in green
You had a temper, like my jealousy
Too hot, too greedy
How could you leave me?
When I needed to possess you
I hated you, I loved you too
Bad dreams in the night
They told me I was going to lose the fight
Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering
Wuthering Heights.


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