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Dear audience,

Yes it's been a long time between drinks. Once my glamorous international jetsetting came to a close, I ended up back in my sleepy little hometown with a crippling credit card debt and the need to work a lot to pay it off. Little time for fun. *sigh* So I've been hibernating. Did you miss me?

But this week, something remotely interesting happened that I thought I'd like to share: I got spayed.

Ironically enough, it was done at the King Edward Memorial Hospital for Women - aka "the Baby Factory". I went in to ask about Contraceptive injections, they took one look at me and suggested sterilisation would be more appropriate (heh heh). It must be the only remaining hospital not being run by accountants, it's hardly a good way for a maternity hospital to get repeat business, it is?

I got a cat from the Cat Protection Society once - they'll only sell you a cat if you get it sterilised before you take it home. I guess they're not looking for repeat business. I wonder if orphanages have the same policy...

The vet at the Cat Protection Society was a bit more thorough than my surgeon, though. Puss got a tattoo in her ear to prove she's been 'done'. The only proof I've got is a tiny scar in my belly-button, and hey I lived in Newtown for years - that could just be an abandoned piercing. Hmmm, although I guess you could say the same about a tattoo - people would just assume 'inner city'. Or perhaps 'prison'.

The one depressing thing about the spaying is that it shows I've got to the age where people BELIEVE I'm not having kids. I've said it all my life, and people would smile condescendingly and say "one day your biological clock will go off and you'll change your mind". Clearly I must be past the ticking stage.

One of the reasons for the spaying was my latex allergy. Now, I'm all for safe sex, but non-latex condoms aren't on the market in Australia, and buying them on import from the UK or US ends up costing about $8 each. Given my tendency to shag 22yo's, that can add up to a *very* expensive night's entertainment. Oh, and once you put in an order, it takes about 6 weeks for the imports to come - which isn't the case for 22yo guys. They don't tend to stick around for 6 days, let alone weeks! (Safety note: Yes, I DO use them for casual flings, but look forward to being able to enjoy a monogamous condom-free ongoing arrangement after mutual STD Testing).

The other reason for the spaying is to make it clear in any future relationship that children simply aren't an option. No risk of me 'accidentally' getting preggers - in fact, no way I can be convinced to start a family regardless of circumstances. I've been in love, I've even been married. If I didn't consider it then, I'm not going to ever. It's something I've always known about myself, unequivocally, and the sterilisation is proof.

Not that I've got anything against kids, other peoples' are just fine :^)

As the man with the pointer says, "the DNA now stops here". I think the world can rest a little easier in that knowledge.

November 2001

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