ANYA: Straight guys only ever see erections in blue movies (and those guys are NOT normal). So they worry that theirs is small when it's not. In real life, they don't usually vary much in size once erect. Unless it's really tiny or really huge, then I don't think it's an issue. Really big can be uncomfortable, and cause problems like cystitis (a very painful bladder infection). So if you're... over-endowed... hopefully you're a considerate lover. If it's really really small, on the other hand (say under three inches), perhaps you need to concentrate on the other aspects of lovemaking. If she has to ASK if it's in, hopefully you'll be doing other things to push her buttons, so to speak. Although they say that some women are more interested in closeness and affection than actual sex - and love can conquer all. So for men in the "pinky-dick" range, I guess romance may be the answer. And for the other 99% of men, it's NOT an issue so stop worrying.

If after everything we've said, you still think that you're too small to pleasure your partner sufficiently, you could try the penis extension pictured below. It's inexpensive and has had good reviews, so it may be worth a try.

BRONTE: No, no, no, no, no!!!! This ridiculous phallocentric "penetration is the ultimate goal" view of sex, the "if I don't stick my penis in then it doesn't count" bullshit has to go. Whilst I'd never deny the appeal of an up-against-the-wall, on-the-kitchen-table "quickie" once in awhile, there is really so much more to great sex than just penile penetration. A bit of nibbling is a good start, followed perhaps with a little blowing, biting, licking, spanking, groaning, stroking, blindfolding, wrestling, cuddling, scratching, dirty name calling, sucking, holding, giggling, playing dress-ups, playing mind games - wherever your imagination takes you. Get this part right and you'll have convinced her what a great lover you are, regardless of penis size!!

DISCO: Well apart from the mandatory 12 inches of black rubber. (Eh? vinyl of course!). I really don't know what the fuss is all about. Although I suspect there MAY be problems with trying to crack a Brazil nut. BTW Disco doesn't think very much of braggers. Put the verbals away!

GINA: Only in your own mind. If you feel good about yourself of course it doesn't matter. In fact, people comfortable about their bodies, put more effort in (didn't mean it like that either) and communicate with their partner/s to what feels fabulous. Experimentation is the spice of life. If something doesn't seem to be working for you there are always alternatives.

FRANCOISE: Well on a scale from 1-10, I'll take a 10 any day... unless it has batteries, and then a 1 would work just as well.

kat@retrokat.com