ANYA: A good lover should be attentive enough to find where each partner's own "spots" are. Finding them is half the fun. What did it for a previous shag is unlikely to do it for me - and I won't make any assumptions about your erogenous zones either, babe.

BRONTE: The H and W spots?? My, my I've been falling behind with my alphabet. But no matter - I'm sure a little late night swotting will do the trick. Well its great to hear that you're interested in knowing more about pleasing your partner(s). But its very important to remember, as Anya said in her reply, that every woman is different. What works for one woman won't necessarily work for another. And there's nothing worse than someone rushing in with all the romance of an overzealous gynaecologist, with his sure-fire technique (well it worked for Bunny and Poopsie last month), madly rubbing away wondering why their partners aren't in fits of ecstasy having one long succession of orgasms (earth-shattering of course). Aaaah the dampener on the whole affair when she has to say to him "I'm sorry can you stop - that feels really uncomfortable" or "oh heck -sorry I've got to go - I've just remembered I left a cake in the oven". Far better then, would be to express your interest in doing a little investigation together and encourage her to guide you around until you hit some of her HOT spots - this may take a little coaxing - some women can be a quite shy about expressing what they find pleasurable, but I'm sure she'll appreciate your effort in the end!!!!

DISCO: What? The whole body is a spot ie. a spot of trouble for you if you don't take the time to find the right triggers! My favourite is the S-spot… the Solar Plexus is great for a quick, swift jab to take the wind out of a fiend's sails. But before you think I am a violent lass I'm also quite partial to a workout with a feather duster.

GINA: I've uncovered a conspiracy by the establishment to get us so confused with all the alphabetical "spots" we have on our bodies, that we will eventually just give up on sex completely. Because we're just not doing it "right", not doing it to it's full "potential", we will finally forget why sex is such a funny and sensual pastime, and take up crocheting instead. Doilies, throw rugs and *booties*.

FRANCOISE: G is for gee I think I felt it once. H is for how the heck did that get there, and W is for where the hell did it go?

kat@retrokat.com