ANYA: It's never worked for me... Unless you actually have a preference for women (in which case, what's the guy doing there, unless he's paying for the privilege?), then the guy tends to be the focus of the whole thing. After all, he's got the fun bits. So I think it's just sort of doomed to imbalance, which does NOT make for healthy sex, in my book. Personally, I think that sex is a form of communication, and I'm far happier with one-to-one than a crowd. Although, I s'pose, diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks...

Over at LeisureSuit, we often get questions about "How do I get my wife to..", re threesomes, B&D, anal sex, polyamory, etc. I cannot stress more strongly that unless both parties are equally interested in exploring the new activity, it's far better off left as a fantasy. Of course there are ways to 'get your wife to' do things she's not really interested in, usually involving some sort of emotional blackmail. A recent article in "Maxim" even suggested getting your partner smashed as a way to make her more likely to participate in activities she wouldn't normally do (threesomes, in that case). And the result may be the realisation of your fantasies short-term, but the likely long-term outcome is the death of the relationship. I firmly believe that without trust and mutual respect, a relationship is doomed, and trying to get someone to do something they don't really want to do in order to please you shows total contempt for your partner and the relationship. So guys, think about the consequences before you try to cajole a partner into doing something she's not keen on. Is fulfilling a fantasy worth risking everything else that your relationship means in your life? Because that just may be the price you'll have to pay.

DISCO: Bring it on! But two boys and one girl? Or two girls and one boy? Or three girls? Or three boys and a camera? Or a salamander, a goat and an elephant? Decisions, decisions!

GINA: Not something I've given much thought to. Too many limbs/ parts involved- I like to centre my attentions on myself and my partner, if you have to think too much it spoils the moment. Thanks anyway.

FRANCOISE: 2 parts girl, 1 part boy, shaken not stirred.

kat@retrokat.com