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I wanted to ask you girls if you have vaginal orgasms. Pure vaginal, without clitty stimulation. Also if you do, when did you start to have them?

You see, I have slept with two women. One kept having vaginal orgasms (multiple), and please trust my word that they were real, during sex, as well as clitoral when I teased her with my mouth or fingers. But my current girlfriend "only" has clitoral orgasms. She does enjoy normal intercourse A LOT, she really goes crazy, but she doesn't cum. I don't think it is a question of time, since I can go on for plenty time (well, especially at the second round). She is 24 by the way, had quite a few guys, loves sex, she is constantly turned on, but she just doesn't go all the way when it comes to vaginal. So, do any of you have any ideas for us to try? I would love to make it work for her.

Thank you very much in advance! Further

ANYA: My response is going to sound pretty harsh, considering that you do have your girlfriend's pleasure in mind, but part of being an Ubermole is saying what we really think, so here it is:

Does she try to tell you what your orgasms should be like? Does she tell you that you don't get as hard as her previous boyfriend, so obviously you're not enjoying yourself as much? I doubt it very much!

It sounds like your current girlfriend is perfectly happy with her orgasms, even if they are "only" clitoral. For you to assume that she's in some way deficient because she doesn't or can't have orgasms from vaginal penetration alone is just plain unfair. Most women, of ANY age, do not orgasm from penetration alone. On the other hand, some women can orgasm without any manual stimulation at all (ie, purely from fantasising).

There are three identified "types" of orgasm for women - clitoral, G-spot and combination. Not all women have all types - some women never even orgasm. That certainly doesn't mean that they don't enjoy their sex life. The G-spot may not even exist in all women - it's main function, supposedly, isn't even sexual. Apparently it's designed to release endorphins when pressured by the baby's head during childbirth, as a form of natural painkiller. The fact that in some women it can produce a certain type of orgasm is more of a side benefit. So if you think your current girlfriend is failing in some way if she doesn't have G-spot orgasms is just plain wrong.

There are techniques & positions that you can use to stimulate the G-spot (such as a pillow under her hips in missionary position), but it's no "magic button". Just jabbing away at it probably won't get you anywhere. Most women require at least some clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm - and a "combination" orgasm (combined clitoral/G-spot) is probably going to be better than a G-spot one alone - so if your girlfriend needs clitoral stimulation to come, that's perfectly normal & no problem. She can stimulate it herself during penetration - holding your penis and pulling it upwards to rub on her clitoris as you thrust can do the trick, or she may want to use a vibrator. Or if YOU want to do the job, you can rub her clitoris with your hand and/or penis while you're penetrating her. I've slept with guys who are very adept at this - although it usually requires strong enough biceps to support their own weight on one arm, at least in missionary position.

Personally, I love combination orgasms - a good one can turn my legs to jello for hours and I walk around for at least a day with a stupid grin on my face. But then I'm the same after acupuncture - I'm just very sensitive to endorphins (the body's natural morphine). Age has had nothing to do with it for me - I was just as orgasmic at 17 as I am now. But I can also enjoy sex immensely without having an orgasm. Sometimes it's not convenient to be wandering around all day in an endorphin-high with a stupid grin on my face & legs of jello!

The bottom line is that everyone is different. If your girlfriend is happy with her sexuality, who the hell are you to say her enjoyment is inadequate? And how would you feel if she told you that your own orgasms weren't good enough, let alone comparing the intensity of your orgasms with those of previous lovers? Enjoy your girlfriend's sexuality for what it is. If she wanted you to be doing something differently, she sounds sexually confident enough to tell you so. If you're determined to make her feel inadequate because she can't come without clitoral stimulation, you're more likely to make her so concerned that she won't orgasm at all. Or she'll start faking them just to keep you happy. Is that what you want?

It's fabulous to have simultaneous orgasms with your partner, but don't expect it to happen from vaginal penetration alone. If you want her to come during intercourse but she needs clitoral stimulation, then give her what she needs! Coming at the same time involves very good communication, great timing, and you just may need to work on your biceps...

DISCO: Great to hear from a sharing, caring sort of guy! I think Anya has answered the question admirably, but i will just add the reminder that all women are different .. and that don't expect one woman to have the same reaction to another woman regardless of technique. Keep experimenting ;)

FRANCOISE: I have both but I need to be very turned-on to have vaginal ones. I suggest a lot of foreplay before hand, including oral sex, or clit stimulation. My SO and I do this a lot, going from one thing to another without orgasm, working ourselves up, having intercourse in between, until the final WOW! By that time we're both so hot we can't help but have major orgasms...

UBERMALE: Women can have orgasms?


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